ABOUT: I was angry and depressed about a certain boy I had a fling with and his girlfriend. This is the result. Click here for more stories.
You Walk By
You walked by, the two of you, your hand clasping hers tightly. Her blonde hair fell gently over her shoulders and her bright blue eyes sparkled like sapphires. She's beautiful, really. Far more beautiful than I could ever be. And the girls that surround her when you're not around, they're beautiful too. But they all look the same. They remind me of a nesting of birds. Each one, beautiful and confident, chattering loudly with the others. You don't belong there.
I've seen the people that surround you when she's not around, too. The girls that flock to you, like sheep. They'd climb over each other just to have one slight chance with out. I used to be one of those girls, I used to think it was worth it.
You walked by, hand in hand, with her. Your dull eyes caught mine for only a brief moment, but it was just long enough to stir up the butterflies that waited in the pit of my stomach. It was just long enough to stir up the multitude of feelings that are there at your fingertips, to evoke from me as you please. I looked to the ground, turned away from you even, and let you continue to walk by. I let you walk by and fought with every bone, tendon, nerve, and tissue in my body not to obey my heart and follow after you.
I listened to the story of the picturesque setting. The two of you holding each other, and spending your days reveling in each other's presence. You held her like there was no tomorrow, and she would have sat with you until the sky fell. You held me once, too, do you remember? But you held me with lust in your eyes. It was one of the only times I saw emotion there. I would have sat with you until the sky fell and the flames of hell rose up and devoured us whole.
You walked by, with her on your arm, and I just sat alone and watched. I listen to the way you're so open with your feelings towards her, and wonder if it really is what you think. If the two of you really know what you're feeling. If she'll stick by you as long as she swears.
I won't lie, I don't love you. But I'm tired of being alone. It hurts me to watch you walk by with her. You know what it's like to be alone as much as I do, but she fills the hole for you. And I'll be here, at any given time, to fill that hole when she can't. To give you what she won't. To be for you what she isn't. I'll live my life and put on my smile and face the world like I do everyday, but I'll cry inside just a little bit whenever you walk by.