ABOUT: Another story based on a song, this time by R.E.M. The story is about being in love with someone and knowing they don't feel the same way. It's about parting ways. It's about coming to the realization that nothing is the way it used to be. It's about being emo as all hell (not really, but it sounds that way.) Click here for more stories.
Night Swimming
Night swimming deserves a quiet night.
That’s what you said to me that night as I slipped out my bedroom window to the garage roof, and then down to the pavement below. Every August, our crew would go to the beach to hang out and go night swimming. It was our yearly final gathering before summer ended and school started up again, ever since the seventh grade, on the last full moon of the summer. Senior year, it had become a final farewell before parting ways for college. Every summer we returned to this town, and every August we reconvened at the beach.
But that night was not that night. In fact, it was still July. We ran up the street to your car so no one would hear us leaving. We were soon to be seniors in high school, and we still worried about getting caught sneaking out, thought we’d been doing it for years.
I remember seeing a photograph on your dashboard. It was of you and I, and it was taken years ago when our crew had first grouped at the beach. God, how we’ve changed since then. The wrinkled photo was turned backwards to face the windshield. Every time we passed under a street light, the picture would reflect on the windshield so that it was right side up and much clearer.
I was so caught up in what was going on that night that I had forgotten my shirt by the water’s edge. I was too distracted by you to remember or care. I remember, as we swam, you had pointed out to me how low the moon hung. Ever since, I have watched the moon and thought of you.
Night swimming deserves a quiet night.
But I don’t think these people understand. As we’re all gathered once again at our beach in August. Everyone is discussing the events of the summer and their past year in college. But tonight, it seems so much different. It’s not like years ago, when I was glad to see everyone and didn’t worry about goodbyes. In past years, when we were young, we only worried about getting caught out past curfew and being reckless. Now there were bills and lectures and so many other problems for everyone to discuss.
No one can see how I really feel. Tonight I feel a longing for you, as I stare across the fire into your sparkling hazel eyes. The things everyone is talking about now, those things go away. They change from one day to the next. But the feelings I have for you right now, the feelings I’ve had since that night four years ago, those things don’t change.
Remembering that night, I decide it’s time for some night swimming. I part from the group, slipping away into the darkness, and no one notices. I retreat to an area not visible from the campfire, the place we swam that night. I strip down to my bathing suit and dive in, swimming out to deeper water. When I stand, the water is just above my waist.
I stare up into the sky. September is coming soon, I realize, and you’ll be leaving to go to your far off college. I’ll stay here, to go to my college a few towns over. The moon is low tonight, and it makes me wish you were here to watch it with me. I wonder what it would be like if there were two of them, orbiting side by side around the sun. Never parting, neither ever being lonely. Nothing could describe that night four years ago when we were night swimming together. This night feels so much like it, and yet far more lonely.
I used to think I knew you. I knew how you felt and I knew everything about you. I’m not so sure anymore, I can’t tell. I thought you knew how I felt about you, how strong my feelings were. I thought you knew how much you mean to me. Yes, me. This person standing in the water laughing to herself about how ridiculous and naïve she was to think you’d ever feel that way.
Night swimming.
I get in my car, not bothering to get dressed first. As I drive home, the street lights cause the wrinkled photo on my dashboard to reflect onto my windshield. We looked so happy back then. With every street light I pass, I remember swimming with you on that quiet night four years ago.
Night swimming deserves a quiet night.