ABOUT: An assignment for my poetry workshop class in college in which we had to forgive ourselves for something that we deemed unforgiveable. Click here to read more poems.

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Indescretion
Nothing that we do is okay –
From the lies we told ourselves,
Each other, and others
So as to keep ourselves ignorantly happy,
To that time you stole me away to the beach
For a few minutes of pleasure
While I was stupidly drunk.

Not to say you took advantage –
It’s been my decision, just as much
As it has been yours.
But you’ve been fine with it all,
Calling me to beg for just one more kiss,
While I call up God
To tell him I’ve been stupid.

No one was ever told about our ways –
They didn’t need to be, they knew.
You’re terrible at hiding it
And I’m just as bad at hiding guilt.
But I’d submit myself to your will and your weight
Because I liked the way you touched me
When I told you that you were stupid.

Nothing that we’ve done has been okay,
And there’s nothing that I can do
To change any of that.
But I can put a stop to it, I can tell you no.
And I have, I’ve ended it the way you nearly ended me.
Maybe I won’t forgive you,
But I’d be stupid not to forgive myself.